I will begin by saying that there are very few things that just outright disgust my husband. He’s been a great dad overall. He changes diapers like a champ. He makes a mean sippy cup and has been know to be a very creative toddler approved chef. I really don’t have much cause to complain. He’s getting this dad thing down pat.
There comes a time in any man’s life where he is faced with a situation he just can’t man up and deal with. Last night was one of those times.
Without further ado, here is the story.
Daniel was giving Mason a bath. Seems like a harmless enough thing…..doesn’t it? Yeeeahhhh….
I was minding my own business in the living room reading when all of the sudden Daniel appears in the hallway looking very distraught. He looked a bit like this :
D: I need your help. I don’t know what to do. It’s a war zone in here. ( he’s shaking and panicking)
Me: ( jumps up immediately) OMG What’s happened?
D: Mason….he…he…he…he took a poop in the tub.
Me: ( laughs ) Ok. Clean it up.
D: ( panic stricken ) It is runny and everywhere…( he gags) I can’t Allie, I just can’t.
Me: ( sighs ) Fine.
The first thing I see when I walk into the bathroom is Mason standing in the tub holding all his dinosaurs out of the water. He looks at me and says…” yucky” while pointing to the water which is decidedly brown. I picked up my son and sat him on the potty and commenced poo extraction .
After a lot of bleach and hot water the tub was finally free of it’s brown assailant.
The entire time my husband is doing his best to help and not throw up all over everything. He really was looking quite green.
After all was said and done, Mason was in the tub with the shower wand giving himself a shower and my husband is apologizing like his entire life depends on it.
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t even mad. This is not even close to the first time I had been covered in my sons fecal matter. It’s just one of those things that as a mother I take in stride and deal with.
My husband on the other hand was steady trying to logic it out.
He said “Why would he do that? I put him on the potty before the bath. Why would he poop in the tub??”
To which I replied ” Because he is a toddler and toddler’s are assholes.”
And that folks is the damn truth. Take it or leave it.