The opinion of most in my generation is that I got married very young. My husband and I were both 21 when we said our vows. It’s been six years now and we are still going strong. There were a lot of people who told us that we wouldn’t make it. They told us we were making a huge mistake. People say a lot of things.
The truth is, we have made it. Yes, it has been hard. However, it hasn’t been hard in the ways they said it would be.
They said we still needed to “shop around”. Nope, still happy with my “purchase”.
They said we needed to be kids and make mistakes. Uhm…what mistakes? Cause most I can think of will get you thrown in jail and ruin your life. Don’t think I’m interested in making much of those.
They told us we needed to really get to know each other. I think we knew each other pretty well.
Recently a few of my friends have gotten married. Here is my advice to you and anyone else who might be interested. This advice is good for both sides of the coin. Women or men.
You are your spouses closest confidant. No matter how trivial you think their problem is, listen. It’s not trivial to them or they wouldn’t be upset about it. Be their friend. Give them an ear of understanding.
If you are upset about something your spouse has done or not done. Tell them. They aren’t mind readers. Don’t come at me with the “they should just know” bullcrap. No, they shouldn’t. Don’t scream and yell. Don’t cuss them out or throw crap. Don’t act like a damn fool. Just talk. Explain your feelings.
3. Share Hobbies.
Don’t divide yourselves into “men stuff” and “woman stuff”. Get involved in each others activities. Be friends. Play games. Read books. Hike. Find common ground.
4. Be Appreciative.
When your spouse does something kind, acknowledge them for it. Every single time. Even for things as simple as vacuuming the floor or loading the dishwasher. Let the other person know that you noticed.
5. Don’t divide over finances.
Don’t fall into the trap that so many do. Don’t look at that empty bank account and the mounting bills and blame your partner. (Unless they purposefully created the mess.) Bills are going to drown you. Living is expensive. Don’t blame your spouse for your countries economic failures.
6. Build each other up!
Keep hope alive. Help your spouse realize their dreams.
7. Stay on the same page!
Talk about everything before you do it. Make sure that both parties are happy with decisions.
8. Never stop trying.
Don’t get complacent and forget about each other. Don’t drift apart.
9. Trust one another.
Don’t be controlling. Don’t spy on your spouse. Don’t be insanely jealous of every female/male that speaks to them.
10. Be worthy of trust.
Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t mislead. Treat your spouse how you want to be treated.
That’s all I can think of for now. It’s really not all that hard. I can pretty much sum all this advice into two words. Be considerate. There is going to be tough times. Don’t give up. Work it out (within reason). Remember why you married the person you did.
Do you have any advice to add? Let me know in the comments!